Victim of Culture

Star Trek is a Star Trek film for people who hate Star Trek

Yes, Star Trek has debuted to overwhelming praise.  Yes, I am in the minority here.  However, I think there is a point to be made about this film and why it isn’t exactly in spirit with Star Trek.  A few notes first, however.  I am not a Trekkie or Trekker, though I have enjoyed the series and movies for years.  I also really enjoyed the film for what it is—a big dumb summer popcorn film.  And therein lies the problem.

Star Trek is not a big, dumb, summer popcorn franchise

There’s a good reason the Star Trek franchise has traditionally been released around the holidays.  The films fit far better into that traditional adult-oriented awards season than into summer.  Star Trek has never been about fast-cut action scenes that defy logic.  Yes, Kirk certainly had his share of goofy fist fights, sword fights, etc. in the original series.  However, they were more to portray the adventure of the series than Kirk as the last action hero.

Star Trek does not need 21st century product placement

The Beastie Boys?  Budweiser?  Nokia?  Really?  Who thought it was a good idea to make the opening scenes of Star Trek play out like Fonzie of the Future?  Or maybe better said, The Star Trek Apprentice with all the product placements?  At this point in Trek lore, even with the timeline changes, hasn’t there been a nuclear war that devastated earth and left its people without hope?  But still with Nokia?  Perhaps this was all a subtle commentary on how hopeless a world would be with Nokia and Budweiser being the two companies surviving a nuclear war, but it seems more likely it was a cheap cash grab.

Star Trek doesn’t need Vulcan sex scenes

What was the deal with Spock and Uhura making out for half the film?  They felt like they should be sitting in front of me in the theater instead of up on the big screen.  There’s nothing wrong with adding some diversity to Spock, but the two looked like horny teenagers and not adults.

Star Trek doesn’t need a reboot

Why reboot Star Trek?  it’s already set in the future, so there’s really no need to update the franchise in any manner.  It isn’t like Batman where maybe you want to start over with a clean slate where all of his villains aren’t already dead.  With Star Trek you simply push it further into the future and create new villains.  The one benefit to rebooting would be the iconic characters, but in rebooting you’ve already changed them to be different characters.  So why go backward to Kirk when you could go forward with new characters?  Or better yet, why bother with Star Trek at all instead of creating a new franchise?

Star Trek doesn’t need lens flares every scene

Many remember the opening lens flares in Star Trek title sequences, and sure, they fit that and are okay.  But why did this film need one in every scene?  Every time they stepped foot on the ship there was lens flare, and most of the time off the ship.  Okay, why is there a lens flare there?  Are the ship’s lights really that blinding?  Is the ship being piloted by Morlocks who need help seeing?  It doesn’t make sense and reeks of Michael Bay-like pseudo-style.

Star Trek has a story with quiet moments

Can you remember more than forty seconds of the film where characters simply talked to one another?  No?  Can you remember anything about the story beyond bad guy from future travels back in time and destroys entire planets?  No?  You’re not alone.  The story felt, again, like the story for a big summer popcorn film.  it was dumbed down to the lowest common denominator.  That could be fine, as not every Star Trek has been brilliant story wise, but it also lacked any quiet character moments.  The deepest character development seemed to be that Spock gets upset over his mother dying and Chekhov talks funny.

Star Trek has room to improve

Yes, the first film was a disappointment to me, but that leaves plenty of room to improve for a sequel.  First and foremost, they must focus on a compelling, dramatic story for the next feature.  Drop the Star Trek: Nemesis-like storyline of one wronged Romulan out to avenge his fate against the universe.  Do that, and you could have a good summer popcorn film that’s also a good Star Trek film.

Related posts:

1. Continuing our story some other place, some other time
   There was a time, not too long ago, that when a television show’s ratings fell too low and it...
2. Lars von Trier’s Anti-Christ film shocks and horrifies at Cannes Film Festival
   With all the torture porn film out there today, like Saw and Chaos, it’s difficult to shock film critics...
3. Star Wars at the House the Mouse Built
   Star Wars has had a spotty record as of late.  The Clone Wars animated film bombed at the box...
4. Ninja Turtles come back to life, or at least live action
   In all the rush to turn every possible comic book into a feature film, it looks like producers are...
5. Rebooting Buffy the Vampire Slayer
   How do you reboot a television classic?  By going back to its film roots.  Many younger fans may not...