Victim of Culture

Eight modern films that ruined movies

To say that a film ruined movies is a bold statement, so before anyone has a heart attack, hear me out.  These are not necessarily bad films (though some aren’t great).  Instead, these are influential films that changed how Hollywood made movies, or what we as audiences expected of them.  The underlying commonality of all is that since their arrival, films haven’t been quite as good.

Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino’s magnum opus might be considered the best film of the 90s by many, but it also was one of the most destructive.  If you’re unsure as to why, let me present you with a quote.  “You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?”  The answer?  The death of cinema.

Wait, wait, wait you cry!  That’s an awesome line!  All of Tarantino’s is brilliant!  I’d agree, too (well, maybe not all of his dialogue).  But that line, perhaps more than any other of the last few decades, led to the current trend of banal banter in films.  Character no longer say interesting, profound things.  They discuss preferences in socks, or how much basil is too much (answer: never enough).  Movies have become a breeding ground for self-indulgent hipster doofus characters.  Thanks alot Pulp Fiction.

Independence Day

While no one would accuse director Roland Emmerich of being Tarantino’s equal, he may have unleashed just as frightening of a fate on the world.  1996’s Independence Day might be notable for its silly story, over the top action, and anti-climatic ending, but it’s a different plague that is truly its legacy.  While it wasn’t his first film, Independence Day is truly the film that launched Will Smith to super stardom.

Like many, I initially fell under the spell of Will Smith.  He was young, he was hip, and he oozed with charm.  Go back and watch episodes of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and you will see a breakout star out shining all of his cast mates.  There is little doubt why he became who he is today.  That said, how could anyone have known that over a decade later we would be seeing  Smith’s character Captain Steven Hiller turning up in all sorts of films?  He fought giant spiders in Wild Wild West.  He fought the government in Enemy of the State.  He fought robots in I, Robot.  He fought zombies in I Am Legend.  Notice a pattern?  Aw, hell no!

There’s Something About Mary

The Farrelly brothers have made a career out of grossing people out, but it was There’s Something About Mary that defined their brand of sophomoric gag humor (Dumb and Dumber came first, but seems almost Disneyesque in comparison).  It also managed to launch the film career of Ben Stiller, who up until that point looked like he might fade into the obscurity of being a failed variety show host.

Whatever good Mary might have done for the world of comedy via Stiller, it did far worse for the world of film with its gross out gags.  Ever since comedy in film has degenerated into a one-upsmanship of bodily fluids.  The last film a guy farted during sex?  This time we’ll have the woman do it!  The last film had a guy get caught in his trousers?  Why, this time we’ll have two guys get caught in the same pair of trousers (Why trousers?  Because it’s fun to say).  Unlike the previous parenthetical reference to Dilbert, this isn’t comedy anymore.  Comedy can be lewd, but still has to be funny.

Saw

Horror films, perhaps more than any other genre, come in waves.  There were the slasher films of the 1980s kicked off by Halloween (oddly enough, in the 1970s).  There were the self-aware slasher films of the 1990s kicked off by Scream.  Then this decade brought the torture porn films kicked off by Saw.  One could argue that all of these trends have been negative, but Saw deserves a special spot in Hell.

While Halloween and Scream gave us tired Friday the 13th and I Know What You Did Last Summer sequels (yes, there are at least two sequels to the latter), those tired sequels were also mindless multiplex fun.  Saw, on the other hand, has given birth to a series of devoid of any fun film franchises such as Chaos, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, Hostel, etc.  They’re more films about punishing the audience than enjoying the fun of hapless camp counselors getting butchered.  Go back and watch the original Friday the 13th films now and they almost seem innocent or quaint in comparison.  They weren’t just less graphic, but they were more focused on the fun aspect—something horror has desperately been lacking in recent years.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

While this might be sort of a cheat, as endless cable repeats is likely more to blame, you can point your finger at this film and give it a good “Shhh!” for movie goers everywhere.  When did we decide it was our duty to annotate films live?  When Crow and friends did it so much funnier.

It’s bad enough that this trend has spread to watching films at home, but there’s always been that one guy who tries to explain to everyone Spy Game as they watch.  Does it have to be in the theater now, too?  There’s always that group, usually teenage boys, who try to crack wise with each new scene.  “Look, it’s Mace Windu!  And he’s tired of these motherfucking snakes!”  Except, it’s usually Forest Whitaker.  Okay, on second thought, it actually is kind of funny when they get it wrong.  But not really needed in The Last King of Scotland.

Pocahontas

In fairness, it’s very likely that Pocahontas was just the film that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  After hitting it out of the ballpark with Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King, Disney was high on their (white) horse.  They had a formula they thought—take classic story, add funny sidekick, pop music numbers, and viola!  Except, it didn’t quite work that way.

People started to grow tired of the formula, and the first chinks in that armor showed with Pocahontas.  It felt forced and contrived, not nearly as organic a film as the first four.  Disney followed it with The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, Tarzan, and Mulan.  While all found their fans, they also all felt derivative in ways the first four had not (minus the whole Kimba the White Lion debacle).  Disney never escaped that rut (minus the rare oddity like Lilo & Stitch) and neither did the rest of the industry.  2D animation died a painful death, and soon 3D animation took up a similar formula of buddy heroes teaming up to go on a journey (see Toy Story, Finding Nemo, etc.).  One wonders if Disney can redeem this trend with The Princess and the Frog?

Spider-Man

With the rare exception of Superman or Batman, comic books hadn’t made much of a dent in the film industry in recent decades.  That was, until, Spider-Man.  With its success came a flood of me-too comic book films, culminating in mass-market hits such as Spider-Man 2, Iron Man, and The Dark Knight.  It was as if there was a new golden age for comics, but on celluloid.

Except, not all that glitters is gold.  For the aforementioned films audiences also suffered through two Fantastic Four films, Blade Trinity, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Catwoman, Daredevil, Elektra, Ghost Rider, X-Men: The Last Stand, and more.  Granted, most comic book films are still smarter than the average Transformers-style summer film, but can’t something more imaginative come to the box office now and then?  Does the summer have to be comic books and toys from the 1980s?  Spider-Man didn’t ruin the summer, but it certainly gave it a good, swift kick in the head while it was down.

Shrek

Once upon a time, in a land far away known as Hollywood, a studio called Dreamworks stumbled across a billion dollar idea.  Take ideas and character archetypes people are familiar with, sprinkle in some 3D animation, and douse with a heavy helping of pop culture references.  If Disney killed the 2D animated film, then Dreamworks made the 3D animated film boring.  Worse, for all the referential fun of Shrek, it exposes a generation of kids to references that, for them, reference nothing.

Consider for a moment, how many kids do you think even know the story of Pinocchio, Puss in Boots, or other fairy tale characters outside of the Shrek universe?  That’s not to say anything inherently is wrong with sly takes on old stories, but when that’s all that exists in animated films anymore it makes the genre boring.  Sure, occasionally there’s a Wall-e (from Pixar), but far more often from other studios we get repeated attempts to recreate Shrek’s success.  What if we made Will Smith a wise cracking fish for Shark Tale?  Wait, that seems to be the nexus for all bad movies—never mind.  But fundamentally we don’t need every film loaded down with heavy pop culture references, especially when the target audience is too young to even get why the twist on the characters is even fun or clever.  Granted, this is often done to appeal to a mass audience, but would it be so wrong to make films that don’t target grandpa and baby at the same time?  Just for old times sake?

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